long time no post
somehow it’s always those times where I hit some low when I think of writing things down. And man, did I hit a low in my life. There’s a lot of mistakes that I can make in my life but never did I ever think that I, Christine, would make this kind of mistake. And that’s probably what led me here, to a place where I can fill this page to remind myself in a year, or maybe five years down the line, that I fucked up but I need to slap myself back into shape.
you fucked up Christine. And you fucked up hard.
alright, that’s enough of that. Most days, I call myself an optimist. I tell myself that with every bad comes some good. And heck, I guess I have found some gold during this past month of torture. This gold I’m talking about are the family and friends that stick it out with me and hold me up when my legs get shaky. These gold pieces who aren’t just there for me the moment of but have followed through with me over this past dreadful month of anxiety and borderline depression. I’m glad I have this pot of gold at my fingertips. Damn, without them, who knows how low I could go.
with all these problems put aside, I’m looking up and over on the bright side. I feel like I’m quite fortunate. Fortunate that things didn’t turn out worse. This is a wake up call though. Because of this, my life just got 10x, no 100x, harder for me. But I have to suck it up and face it. Some people have shit days but I just happen to have shit months. But it’s alright. Time to learn from my mistakes and move the fuck on. Because I sure enough know that this isn’t going to stop me from doing what I want to do in the future.
get your head out of the toilet, Christine. This is your reminder.
|Me:||should I buy a Northface Jacket? It's on sale....
|Him:||Hmm do you need boots, scarf, shoes, makeup, sweater, jacket, backpack, glasses..they're all on sale
"Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming."
it’s been a while
I never realized how important these little blogs are to me until now. I’ve had a few chances to look back on what I’ve written in the past and it made me reflect on whether or not I’ve actually put what I’ve learned from myself or from other people into proper use. And I haven’t, but it’s a good reminder to try harder when I reread my silly posts.
Things are looking up in pharmacy school and it isn’t quite as bad as I imagined it to be. I mean, aside from the seven straight weeks of examinations, I guess it’s decent. My grades are all over the place but does it matter? No, because the final is worth 60% of my grade anyways. Getting an A now can mean getting a B/C later depending on my how I score on my final. My studying method has changed since I’ve noticed I’m studying more, not for the grade but for my patients. I’ve definitely gained a deeper sense of the concepts i’m learning by simply training my mind to think this way. I’ve also found myself a hospital internship in the inpatient pharmacy - something I completely didn’t expect but grateful I was given the opportunity. It was my ideal starting point and I am so happy and grateful to be offered the intern position out of the many qualified students. Looks like my plan of coming back to Los Angeles will be put on a hold for a little while longer.
Sigh, one week of hardcore studying before five days of back to back finals. Wish me luck!
"just drink fool, friends don’t let friends study ahead"